| FEAR |------------X-------------------------------------------------------| LOVE |
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- i think your the fucking anti christ -
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[03 Jul 2004|09:09pm] |
so if you couldnt figure it out from my last post, I MOVED- journals that is... so add me at ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) _deeprepulsion
gabr!ella
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[02 Jul 2004|12:59pm] |
read this if you want. don't if you don't. but i'd love comments, just to lift my spirits, because right now they are dead and buried.
today was my first school free weekday in quite a while, and may i just tell you i have had the worst couple of weeks in my whole life. 'thanks to myself' as my parents would say. after not sleeping well for over almost 4 weeks, (i consider only 4 1/2 hrs not a lot), one could imagine the way ive been feeling. also, i have had been studying like a crazy person for finals for over 3 weeks. and i called this cramming, for the only thing i was doing was studying once i got home. so after finals were over, i felt a bit of a weight lifted off of my shoulders. but wait, its gets better worse. one of my friends did something, that i most definatly would not have, and then there it was ~ gabriella to the rescue. of course, this person probably does not think much of it. but hold up... that didn’t really matter, except for the fact that i was now under more emotional stress. yes stress... now, if I’m only 14-soon to be 15- and im so stressed, that my chest has been hurting me. what is going to happen when I’m older ? huh? i'll be even worse. well back to the entry.. so my friend did shit, said shit, and then it was time for me to go. i didnt want to because she was in a bad frame of mind. but i just had to... i had a doctors appointment, and what was i supposed to tell my dad if i was late? that my friend got piss drunk. so obviously i was still worried about her and i the person that picked me up from school to drive by where she and some of our other friends were sitting. after i knew she was fine, we drove off. saw her the next day, she thanked me and went off. so of course i was a little erked but thought nothing of it. i always have other people in mind... never my self. it has to stop.
anyways this shits getting old. basically bad shit happened after that too.
now im one of those people that take pride in their grades, and even more my parents take a bit more pride in my grades. so back to the whole end of finals thing. a talked to all of my teachers, and i was supposed to be getting pretty good grades. my health/english teacher... a bit of a nut, told me that i would be getting b's in both of her classes. so yesterday i find out that she gave me a fucking C in health. no just wait a second. some of you may say that C's are good in your books, but there HORRIBLE in mine. and especially my parents. so i flipped out more than they did. and let me be the first to tell you im too fucking depressed because of this. i havent eaten barely anything for the past 2 days. so im hungry grouchy and on my red, but i can't bring myself to eat-because i think im too fat(im supposedly not, but no one other than me can say that and make it stay~except for 1 person and he wouldnt say that) and i think everything is wrong with me. and i just hate this whole feeling.
im supposed to go to noah's house this sunday and i was supposed to see allie for her birthday and i can't do both. and you know which way im leaning, but only because i can see allie next weekend. and i can see her next weekend. but im only feeling this way because i think that my parents aren't going to let me go to lake tahoe.
this isn't fair, i should'nt have to feel this way. i hate feeling this way.
all of this is supposedly my fault, all because of the fact that i turned in some papers on notebook paper instead of the white paper. she supposedly skipped over it because it wasn't what she was looking for. why is everything so hard for me. i can't do anything right for my self.
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[30 Jun 2004|06:41pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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[30 Jun 2004|07:57am] |
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just shoot me/
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[29 Jun 2004|09:30am] |
romeo juliet period
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[28 Jun 2004|06:54pm] |
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mood |
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worst day? i think so.
lemme just say i have another new layout
and i think you'll like this one better.
my chest is killing me.
it feels like someone shoved a pole through it
and for once, its not the side that my heart is on thank you.
but then again, it's there too. im so sorry that this had to happen....
i love you heidi, and that will never change.
i wish i could make everything better, but i just can't.
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| ya soo... |
[28 Jun 2004|10:30am] |
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mood |
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98% of teenagers do or have tried pot. If you're one of the 2% that hasn't, put this in your journal.
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[27 Jun 2004|04:20pm] |
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and i made a new layout :)
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[27 Jun 2004|03:43pm] |
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her [3:41 PM]: i'm so bored
her PM]: and i just got home
her [3:41 PM]: i get bored fast
me [3:42 PM]: "great minds never get bored" i have a little work to do but i think you should hit the books. lol.
now thats entertainment
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| food network makes me hungry |
[27 Jun 2004|01:57pm] |
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anyways, tonight is bevan's poop i mean pool party.
im sure ill have a shit load of fun... ahem. ya.
and school isnt over for another 4 days. :-X
and my summer is way to effing short.
and i cant wait till i go to hull.
and i cant wait till i go to tahoe.
i need a haircut.
i have a dentist appointment tomorrow.
i didnt go to sleep till 3 and woke up at 730
im hungry.
im out.
<3
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| here are somethings from my 'memory book' : i still hate frank : with a passion : check the icon :) |
[26 Jun 2004|09:08pm] |
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"hey wuts up its Boston have a fun summer" <- i know, its so original
"hey gabby, have a great summer. maybe you will wear shorts or a bathing suit to bevans party? love, aaron" <- like before, very original
"What Up! AFI Girl with the hair?! I hope you have a great vacation. I'm really glad I got to know you. I remember before I knew you, I told myself, "Hey whose that girl w/the hair sporting my favorite band's name? I need to get to know her," So, I asked people about you & I got your name and a couple of dirty secrets... sorry, I'm not telling you what I heard. Well I hope I see you next year cause I'm gonna ask 4 your #! HeHeHe! Well, I'll see you later AFI girl with the hair! Bye. Hey why dont you wear shorts? or bikinis? or g-string & thongs? Just Kidding. <3 Yamil" <- aww shucks.. that made me feel good. (AKA AFI BOY, NOW ART)
"i hope you have a good summer -bevan" <- you see what im friends with... lol
"Hey, I guess your pretty cool now, I used to be jealous of you back in the day, but we're cool now. Well have a great summer hope to see you next year! -Frosty" <- thats kyle for ya.
"Balls to you Heidi/Gaby -Hap" <- he was just a little high at the time and thought it was heidi's book. but i <3 him. well not like that. you know. i can't belive him and his 115 lb. self is leaving.
"Empty Sack- Remember when we played handball? cause i do. my mouth tastes like cheezits. Bye! -Benjy" <- i still play handball, and don't ask about the nickname.
Well i didnt get to many but thats all for now.
ps. wtf kinda movie am i watching.. its got jake gylenhal (oy! sp) and that guy from my so called life (hes got a mowhawk) and whats her name... um that girl . whatever.
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[25 Jun 2004|08:38pm] |
first off frank, im the one that put the gum in your hair, so your fuck ass got the wrong person. and second off, who the hell gave you the right to write all of that bullshit on school scandals. i really cant belive it. i told you it was me and you still do that. wtf. i really cant believe you. first you call heidi a whore and then you do that. your such a douche bag. i really hate you frank and you know what... bevan said you were being a dick cause you liked me, but why would i even like you when you always disrespect myself and my friends like that. i trully hate you frank. and im disgusted with myself if even a fiber of your being likes me.
fuck you frank. fuck you.
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[25 Jun 2004|08:27pm] |
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what the fuck! my dad came into the room and was like can i see your yearbook and i was like fine. he looked through the begining and then he went to the back where people write shit. and he starts reading something that heidi wrote to me. and i flipped cause it was semi private, whatever. and i was like cmon. and hes like 'i can read it if i want' then i got upset and i was turning the pages and he flipped completly. he just got off the sofa and threw it on the floor then left. now i know he's sick but wtf. im just gonna leaving him alone. but speaking of my memory book thing ill tell you what 'afi boy' now 'art' always 'yamil' said but that will be the next post.
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| ok so this is for aaron |
[25 Jun 2004|08:32am] |
 ya... well he sorta did a little 'dance' when he found out that we could use the book in math. well. it actually looked like that. ;) anyways. its cool and finals are almost over. then ill be sure to update my journal very often/. im out.
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[18 Jun 2004|08:14am] |
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( no )
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[17 Jun 2004|07:18pm] |
and lemme just say, i really want to go watch my donnie darko movie right now. [that i got with spanish subtitles for only $3.99] im so in the mood for it you have no idea! must study must study must study
OFF TO STUDY!
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